Small talk is usually supposed to be just that – small talk. You’re asked the most basic of questions, and it’s anticipated you’ll give back a quick and easy answer. Things like ‘where are you from’ and ‘what do you do’ tend to be the starter questions.
I’ve never really liked small talk. I like that our answers to these questions tend to lead to bigger conversations. Every encounter we have is a subtle opportunity to challenge assumptions.
- Where are you from? Do we answer with pointing to our nearby parked bus or showing a picture on our iPhones? Do we answer with where we last were a long term resident of? Do we answer with our domicile? Do we lead with remarks that might incite further inquisition.. like ‘Wherever we’re parked’? Or do we just come out an say it, ‘We’re technomads!’?
- What do you do? The quick and easy answer that we put on our IRS tax forms is ‘Software developer’. But oh goodness, that doesn’t even begin to cover it. Our income sources are varied and as anyone who is self employed knows, when you operate your own business you are also researcher, manager, law assistant, business developer, marketer, bookkeeper and janitor. On top of that, we’ve been paid to be everything from technical consultant, social media navigators, evangelists, writers, photographers, videographers, box packers, strategy consultants, campaign managers, purge genies, presenters and more. We’re versatile, and love that we can bring our unique experience of the world into every project we embark on. Whatever funded the last tank of fuel doesn’t necessarily prescribe what will fund the next.
You don’t have to live your life so that your life is suitable for small talk. Life can be lived in ways that circumnavigate a myriad of colors and landscapes. And that’s the way I intend to continue living mine… so my answers are stories.
Those who boldly live their lives with confidence change the world by just being themselves. You really can not predict how a brief encounter can impact someone’s life and the ripples that go out into the world by just being you.
I guess being still somewhat new to this lifestyle, Jerry and I hesitate when being asked where we are from. From Phoenix, I say, but we now full-time RV. On our Yellowstone name tags, Jerry and I both put down Arizona as our home state :).
Beautifully Written!!!
Small Talk
”Where are you from?”
he said to me.
I was not sure
what to say
I could point to my hand
and answer Michigan
Or perhaps just the US of A
Today I could answer
sweet home Alabama
But just yesterday
I was down on the bay
A citizen of the world
a child of the stars
Or perhaps just
my mother and dad
When somebody asks you
”Where are you from?”
They don’t really want to
hear what you want to say.
~ slw April 4, 2013
I’ve been following your blog for the past several months. We just sold our house and bought an RV and tomorrow head out for a one-year loop around the US and Canada. You have been an inspiration to us!
Those two questions are rarely ever short answers for us either. To the first I usually answer “the short answer is we live in our motorhome. The long answer is…well..very, very long”
To the second I say I’m a writer/photographer and hubby is a full-time investor. Like you, this doesn’t even begin to cover it, but it’s a good start.
I’m hoping I never have a simple answer to these 🙂
Nina
So true…the “where are you from” question has recently gotten quite muddled for us. We recently lived in Belize for 1.5 years and now have domiciled in Florida. Before Belize, we lived in North Carolina for decades (and I was born there), but my DH was born and raised in Ohio. I still think of myself as being “from” NC, but as we plan to be traveling nomads in the near-term and not sure where we’ll end up long-term, I’m not quite sure how to answer this right now, at least not in a way that lends itself to small talk.
The truth is we are so much more than the simple answer. (But, then, aren’t we all?) Like you two, we are a blend of separate past lives presently conjoined by our commonality of adventure and exploration.
While not yet full-timers, the Mr. and I often answer that we are Ramblers or Adventurists, though I’m rethinking that last and considering Madventurists.
Location independent lifestyles are a curiosity to those who cannot imagine such a thing being purposeful or fulfilling. We enjoy the opportunity to give them an up-close glimpse of our chosen reality…even moreso once we give up the stix-n’brix permanently.
Over the years I’ve gotten more and more uncomfortable with the “what do you do?” question. I realized I’m not primarily interested in their occupation, because that’s rarely the most interesting thing about anyone. I do sometimes ask “what do you do for pay?” but I have to be sure they don’t misunderstand. :o)
If the mood is right, we’ll sometimes answer with something like ‘whatever we like’ or ‘worship the cat’.. Or ask for clarification if they’re asking about our life in general or income sources. You are right, too many people associate ‘doing’ with their career/job.
You could cover it by saying small business software developers. Being a kid who was moved around a lot, I always had difficulty with the answer of where are you from? What is your hometown? I think home is where the heart is – whether a place, a person, or a bus!
But we are not *just* software developers. 🙂
You make something up…
Contract shark hunter, Naugha trappers (it helps if you confide that there is a really good market for Naugahyde), “We invented the internet”.
Any of these are great if you can tell someone the story with a straight face,
there is always “internet entrepreneur”.
We have the same issue…Where are you from? The whole answer…orginally from Iowa, our domicile is Livingston, TX, we currently live here (whenever here is). What we actually say is…where ever we are parked.
When people ask what we do…we ususally just answer…we are semi retired. 🙂