It is with sadness in my heart that I write this post – and it is to let you know that my father peacefully passed away this past Sunday.
He was surrounded by love, family, honor and appreciation in his final days.
The past few weeks have been intense as his disease progressed far more rapidly than any of us were prepared for. When we pulled into Melbourne, we were a bit taken aback by how much he had already deteriorated since he visited us in Cedar Key just weeks prior. His energy levels never rebounded like we had hoped for, and we all quickly became aware that his time left in this world would be far less than 6 months his doctors predicted.
My father set a goal to make it until at least April 6 – which would be the day that his fellow submarine veterans were christening a 23′ model submarine to put on display in a military museum and be used as a parade float. Last year, his shipmates decided to name it the USS Tim VeArd. He had been glowing for months about this great honor.
You see, my dad is kinda a big deal in the submarine veteran community – having created the database backend that has brought many shipmates back together (Decklog.com is a donation from our company to help naval veterans reconnect and reunite.)
In the days leading up to the christening, his condition was rapidly deteriorating.
On Thursday, April 4, he decided it was time to be admitted to the local hospice house. The care he received there was beyond remarkable. We, as a family, could see his burdens immediately released and peace fully settle within. I am so thankful for this resource, they truly made the experience… dare I say… a pleasure.
He made a promise to all of us that he would make it to at least Saturday to see the christening. It was clear he would not be able to physically attend, so we brought together our mobile technology to live video stream it to his bed. Using my iPhone to hotspot my iPad, I was able to Facetime the entire ceremony to my father’s bed. My mother, brother and I attended the beach ceremony with his shipmates, and Chris stayed with him to orchestrate the tech on that end.
My father got to watch and hear as many honored him and my mother poured champagne over the bow of the USS Tim VeArd, who’s motto is appropriately “Always Positive’.
Throughout all of this, that has been my father’s attitude – he was always positive, and approached each challenge head on. Right up until the very end. That is a message I live by, and will continue to be inspired by with every step I take in life.
Always Positive
One of his final requests is that I put together a video of the christening ceremony to share. If you haven’t had a good cry this week, well… here ya go (direct link).
Less than 24 hours after the christening, having successfully met his goal, my father very peacefully passed away. Chris and I are deeply honored that he choose to do so on our bedside shift. We are positive that there was no doubt in his mind how much he was loved, appreciated and cherished by many.
He approached his end of life as he did every other phase – with grace, courage, honor and positivity.
It’s been just about 3 years since my dad’s cancer was first diagnosed. And the past 15 months or so have been an active and intense fight. While I am deeply saddened by the loss, I am also happy that he is at peace and no longer suffering. I am so blessed that our nomadic lifestyle has allowed us to be here through much of it, and truly be by his and my mom’s side.
We’ll remain here in Melbourne for a while longer, to make sure my Mom is fully supported in transitioning to this new phase of her life, and that all of the logistics are taken care of. And then I suspect we’ll be in search of some much needed recuperation time ourselves.
Bravo Zulu, Dad. There’s a huge hole in my heart that can’t be filled by anyone else, and I will miss you greatly forever.
Our hearts go out to you and your family in this time of sadness. Thankfully, you have many wonnderful memories and were there at the end. That is a great gift to your father.
My father had hospice care for a month before he passed. I was able to be there with my mom to help her, but it was still emotionally draining. Even taking care of all the paperwork after he passed was time-consuming, frustrating and drove my mom crazy dealing with being put on hold at government agencies.
Our thoughts are with you. xoxoxo
I am woefully behind in my blog reading & just saw this today. Our thoughts go out to you and we wish you & your family the best now & in the coming months. So glad your father was able to view the christening (how great is technology?).
Cherie, my heart goes out to you and your family. My deepest condolences.
Kristin
My heart felt condolences to you and your mother as I know from you posts that your father’s illness has weighed heavily on you for some time. God bless and may you remember him each day and in this way he will still be with you forever.
That is an absolutely wonderful tribute to your father, I am sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss Cherie but glad you could spend such quality time with him.
Our thoughts and prayers are with u . Hugs
Rob and lyn
Vernon B C
Canada
I have been reading your blog since you did the sand thing for your Dad which I thought was Great! I extend my sympathy to you and your family. The loving actions and words guided him through his last journey on earth, no one could receive a better departure. No question he was welcomed in Heaven with open arms.
There was no doubt in his mind how much he was loved, appreciated and cherished by many.That pretty much sums it up, sorry for your loss, but there is some comfort that he passed with his loved ones at his side.
Sincere condolences and deepest sympathy at the loss of your dad. It is very hard to lose a parent, but the memories do help get you through. I have been lurking on your site for about a year, and I’m sorry that my first comment is in your time of grief, but wanted you to know that even though we haven’t met we are thinking of you.
Scott and Julie Lunt
Wow. My heart is overflowing with all of the love, support and kind words that have been shared here. Thank you all.
Sailor, rest your oar
________________________________________________________
When you’re final dive is made, and your battery’s running low,
You’ll know there lies a boat for you many fathoms here below,
With your annunciators jammed on full and your depth gauge needles bent,
Your accumulator’s dry of oil and your air banks all are spent,
It’s then you get to wonderin’, “is my life’s boat rigged for dive?”
Your guessing drill commences, “am I dead or still alive?”
You pace the flooded decks with scorn and curse the flaws of man.
Into realms of Rex you’ve stepped, and here you’ll make your stand.
To live your life, as sailors must, at the bottom of the sea,
There’s one you’ll have to reckon-that one, my friend, is thee.
Will your conscience do you justice when the final muster’s in?
Did you lead the kind of life you should in every port you’ve been?
The answers to these questions and many, many more, are locked in the hearts
Of sailormen from Cannes to Singapore. So, when your day for mast rolls
‘Round. The choice is up to you, sailor chart your course of life right now.
Chart it straight and true.
Now’s the time to flood your tanks and trim up ‘fore and aft. It’s a trifle
Late when the klaxon sounds to square away your craft. Your final billet
Lies below, on “Old Ocean’s” floor. So, be ready when that last word’s
Passed. Sailor, rest your oar!
Very sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing.
So deeply sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to your amazing father. Will be keeping your family in my prayers.
Tina
Very sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. Your gift of bringing the water from all the lakes for him to put his foot in was very touching and precious. Dad was lucky and no doubt proud to have you as his daughter. Heartfelt condolences.
Thank you for sharing this lovely story about your father.
What a beautiful tribute to your dad. Deepest condolences for your loss. We should all be as lucky as he to die with dignity in the presence of loved ones and receiving excellent care.
Deep condolences to you and your family. A teacher once told me, “hearts break wide open.” I can hear that happening in your writing.
I’m sorry…
Our deepest condolences, Cherie. May memories of your Dad give you comfort in this sad time.
Cherie,
So sorry to hear of your Dad’s passing. As the grief eases, you’ll find yourself smiling when little reminders of times you spent or things you do that he taught you pop into your head. After 20 years, it still happens to me almost every day. At first, I thought I’d always feel pain with those memories. I hope that day arrives soon for you and you can feel the joy of having lived and learned with such a obviously great man. It’s good to know you created a lifestyle that has allowed you to be with him and your Mom when they needed you.
Take Care,
Gordie
Cherie
Sorry to read about your Father passing. You can be proud of him, and what a fitting tribute to your Dad. Our prayers are with you and your family.
Pat & Evelyn
Cherie, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. May the fond memories of him be like a peaceful salve now and in the years to come for you and your family.
I am so so sorry to hear about your Dad. Daughters always have that special little spot in their Dads hearts, that nothing else can fill. Remember all the good times, and hold on tight to your Mom. She needs you more than ever right now. Just know that he is no longer hurting, and is smiling down on you and everything you do. Take care of yourself, and thank you for letting us know about his passing.
God Bless…
Jill Fraas (Georgetown Rv owner)
Cherie, we are sadden to hear of your fathers passing. We were very touched by your tribute. I lost my father to cancer as well in 2010 and my mother and I and family miss him greatly. It’s fair to say that your Dad passed that great torch on to you and your family to light the rest of your way.
He may not be here physically but he will remain spiritually with you always still giving his advice. 🙂
Sincerely, technomadia follower
Ed Burnett
Sorry to hear about the loss of your Father. I can’t imagine a better scenario for his passing than the one you described. Wonderful that you were able to be there and assist in achieving his goal. You have fond memories to carry with you wherever you go and assurance that he is now at peace. Hope you find some rest for yourself.
Our deepest condolences to your family.You & Chris are truly special people. We lost a close friend to cancer, he was only 58. This is when we realized just how short life can be. We then read everything you had posted on this site,(and still do) and decided that going nomadic is what we wanted to do while we are still healthy. You and Chris have been more inspiring to us and I’m certain many others than you know.
Your father and I had something in common as my saying is “Think Positive”.
I’m certain he is looking down on you with pride. 🙂 God Bless
Greg & Margie
My deepest condolences. That was a wonderful tribute. Our prayers are with you.
My deepest condolences. What a terrific tribute! How fortunate it is that you could take him to the ceremony through the magic of technology. I know your dad’s fellow vets really appreciate having Decklog to keep the camaraderie going. Hospice folks are wonderful, but they can’t come close to the love and compassion you’ve shown as his daughter. You gave him a send-off like none other. My sympathy to Chris and your mom as well.
AWww…Hugs and peace to all of you!
Prayers for your Dad, I’ll watch the video later, don’t need it for the tears right now.
Awesome about the mini sub.
Hugs and prayers!
I’m sorry. Hugs and best wishes to you and your family.
What a beautiful post (and video). I’m wiping my tears as I type, although I know that they don’t compare to yours. I’m sorry for your loss, but glad to know that you were with him when he transitioned. God bless you.
Cherie, my heart goes out to you, Chris, and your Mom during this time of transition. I don’t need the video for the “good cry.” I got it just from the blog.
I will commemorate this evening in the only way I know how…with an “Operation Dip Toes” in Barton Creek in honor of Mr. VeArd.
My best,
Suzanne
My greatest condolences to you, Chris, your mom and all your family and friends. An inspiring tribute … thank you.
Although I have never met you and Chris, I still feel we are friends through your much enjoyed blogs. What a beautiful and touching tribute to your father. I lost my father 33 years ago and still miss him. I am sure you will also realize what I discovered sometime back. Every day as I grow older, Dad grows smarter! My sincere condolences to you and your entire family.
Lovely tribute to your Dad. So sorry for you loss Cherie and family !
I’m so sorry for your loss Cherie. You did a wonderful thing by helping your dad to participate in the christening when he couldn’t be there in person.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Cherie. But you did an amazing job being there with him and your mom over their journey of the last 3 years (your journey too). Your nomadic journeys combined with your times with your folks have been an inspiring example of how to balance all that life throws at us.
With the best wishes for your healing and continued travels.
My deepest sympathies to you & your family. May your dad be at peace.
So sorry for your loss Cherie. What a beautiful tribute this is.
A wonderful tribute to a remarkable man. I’m so very sorry for your loss and wish your dad good winds to the next life. He’ll be watching over you now and will always be in your hearts. Our thoughts are with you.
Nina
Thank you for sharing this special moment-my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
Cherie and Chris, all I can say is that I know your father will find Fair Winds and Following Seas on his new journey.
With all due Respect to him, your mother and your entire family the USA lost a another hero on Sunday.
Respectfully and God Bless,
Steve Kaeseman, SK1(SW), USN (Ret)
A beautiful tribute.
Peace to you and your family in this time.
What a lovely tribute to your dad. My heart goes out to you in your time of sorrow.
Remarkable – all of it.
My best to you guys, and to your mom.
Roxanne
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. As you said, what a blessing that your nomadic lifestyle allowed you to walk with him through much of this. May a peace that passes understanding fill your heart.
So sorry to read this news. As others have observed, this is a wonderful tribute. Your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
My sincerest condolences and prayers to you at this time. Your father sounds like a wonderful man and you no doubt have many, many happy memories you will hold onto forever.
Curiously, Sunday April 7th happens to have been my own 50th birthday. Your father’s passing will now be a completely unexpected link I shall carry with me for the rest of my own life–along with his most excellent motto: Always Positive.
Dear Cherie,
Thank you so very much for allowing us to share in this beautiful and touching life and death experience with you and your family.
It was such a pleasure to know you dad.What a great guy. So interesting to talk to. I was fortunate to get to see him and your mom in February when they had us to dinner. By “us” I mean three Seppies..Tracey, Patty and her husband Jim and I. Your mom fixed a delicious lasagna dinner ,and we had the nicest evening together. Your dad hugged us all so tightly and told us how happy he was that we had made the effort to come. It pleased him that we love your mom and that she’d have friends to watch over her when the time came. He was at peace with everything. Such an inspiration to us all. God bless you and thanks again for the lovely tribute to your dad.I know how much you meant to him and to your mom. Hope to meet you one day. God bless. Love, Nancy
I hope the memories of happy times bring you comfort during this sad time. My condolences to all who loved your father.
Very sad to read this.
It’s a curious thing, this internet. I never met the man, but I can appreciate your loss. You’ve shown great courage in being able to pass on this sad news.
My heartfelt condolences.
It sounded like it was a beautiful send off – sending hugs.
Many, many hugs to you, Chris, your mother and your family.
It is a beautiful tribute you posted to your dad.
What a beautiful tribute to your dad!
What a lovely tribute, thank you for sharing it. Very sorry for your loss, you were lucky to be able to be there. Take care of each other.
J.
Sending you love and prayers. I know where you are and rest assured, however you need to go through this is exactly what you need. No one else can be the judge or jury!
Your strength inspires me. I know the loss of your father is not easy to deal with. But the way your are handling it and helping your family is truly amazing. You and your familey are in our thoughts.
Hospice is indeed a wonderful system of care that allows families the means to care for a loved one in such a difficult time. I will always treasure the time I spent with my own Dad helping him do it ‘his way’. It was my final gift to him. I pray your lifetime of memories will fill the empty spot in your heart and give you comfort.
GOD bless Hospice!
Hold tight to memories of your Dad for comfort, lean on your friends and family for strength, and always remember how much you are cared about. My heart is with you in this time of sorrow.