I test out consistently as a pretty extreme introvert, and I’ve actively worked my entire life to not allow that introversion to rule me by manifesting as shyness. These days, I generally consider myself an extroverted introvert when I’m in my comfort zone of being around a small group of like minded people. And I love meeting new people and making new friends.
But traveling full time can create some difficulties in finding those people, especially for those not extroverted enough to strike up conversations with random people in cafes, on the bus or on the street. And let’s face it, some locals in places that get a lot of tourists are hesitant to invest energy into getting to know visitors too well, for they’ll soon be moving on.
As both Chris and I have long histories of meeting folks online, dating back to the mid-1980s via our old BBSing days, we continue to utilize our online life to meet people offline. It really helps to get around some of the barriers of being both introverted and viewed as another transient just passing through.
So, here are the methods we utilize to meet up with like minded folks as we travel:
Put yourself out there
In an online dance, at least one side of the equation has to put out the effort of making themselves visible in order to be found. Having a strong online presence with an active blog, Twitter engagement and Facebook fan page gives you a great starting place to invite others to contact you. Don’t be afraid to really express yourself, as the persona you project out will be the filter that attracts people to you.
Not comfortable putting yourself out there? When you find people who are putting themselves out there that resonate with you, do not hesitate to contact them.
That’s one of our primary reasons for keeping this blog, and we’ve been infinitely blessed with invitations from our readers to meet up and host us as we pass through. And many of our greatest and most inspiring meet-ups have been from folks who have little online presence themselves.
Be active in online communities
Have interests in knitting, motorcycles, technology, kink, Burning Man, yoga, spirituality, gardening, photography or anything else? Own a specific RV, boat or vehicle brand? Find online forums for these, create a great profile and get involved. Share your expertise and learn from others by engaging in conversations. You’ll meet like minds with similar interests, and you’ll be surprised at how many people are interested in potential rendezvouses. And, you’ll also have a non-location dependent support network for when you need advice on these topics.
This week, we have a friend coming to visit us (and join Chris in running in 8 Tuff Miles) who we met simply because his family also owns an Oliver Travel Trailer, and we met via their forums. We’re also rather fond of this method, as it was a Toyota Prius forum where Chris and I first encountered each other. (Awwww.)
Find local groups
Perhaps a Meetup.com group, Yahoo Group or Google Group for local interest in cities you frequent, or will be at for a while. Search on Facebook by the location you’re visiting and find fan pages for groups and events happening. Post an introductory message about yourself and you may be surprised by the connections this leads to. We’ve also encountered a few nomads who make the effort to get involved in various church functions of their denomination as a way to make community and keep their spiritual pursuit active.
Putting effort into local community for locations you plan to have repeat visits helps make the location feel more like a homeport than just somewhere you pass through.
We’ve made some awesome connections with the fire dance community here on St. John by finding them on Facebook. And this weekend I’ll be on the volunteer staff of the 8 Tuff Miles Road Race as a direct result of my being present on their Facebook page and the organizer recognizing us while enjoying a brew at the local tap house.
Dating Sites
Ok. So this one is a bit unconventional. Hear me out..
Most dating sites have a setting for ‘Seeking friends only’ – it’s not all about romantic or sexual connections.
Think about it… what’s the easiest way to meet people who are actively looking to expand their social networks? On a dating site, people are actively looking for new connections. And while some are singularly focused on finding romantic partners, many are actually in an open mind space to new friends too.
So even if you’re not looking for romantic partners or are already in a committed relationship – some dating sites are a remarkable way to meet like minded people who are seeking connections in general.
A great free site is OkCupid.com (which was unfortunately just purchased by Match.com) that matches people through a series of surveys for romantic AND friendship compatibility. Folks there have been pretty open to those just looking for friends. Just be very clear and upfront, honest about your relationship status and have your partner’s approving cooperation.
Continuing our sappy love story – after I saw Chris’ post on the Prius community, I stumbled on his OkCupid profile – and that is what really catalyzed our romantic interest in each other. We both kept our profiles active there, as its proven to be such a useful social tool for meeting locals, other nomads, business contacts, Burning Man campmates and more! Here in the USVI, we’ve actually been hanging out with a fellow nomad who is also wintering here, and is joining us in 8 Tuff Miles this weekend.
Meet Other Nomads
Get involved in nomadic online communities such as the Location Independent Clubhouse, NuNomads, Technomads Google Group, Couchsurfing.org, TravBuddy.com and NuRVers. Meeting other nomads in your travels is an awesome way to meet folks who really get the transitory nature of friendships in this lifestyle. These are folks that are not only on a similar path as yourself, but are also used to going deep quickly and riding the lulls until your next encounter.
We’ve met tons of other nomads through these methods, and love the rendezvouses we have! We even hosted a Couchsurfing couple a couple weeks ago, who were on island buying a live aboard sailboat. We’ll definitely be enjoying a sail with them soon!
Go Offline and Get Out There!
Even if you’re an introvert like me, get past your weaknesses and get out there and meet folks. It does get easier with practice. Whether it be talking to your neighbors at campgrounds, hanging out in a lobby, going on a group tour, picking up hitchhikers (where safe) or stopping to talk with fellow hikers on the trails. There are amazing people all around, and many folks appreciate an opportunity to converse with new people.
And as a full time traveler, you likely have an enviable story that folks will be curious to hear more about!
Here on St. John we’re having a blast embracing the hitchhiker way of life, and always pick up folks if we have room. We’ve met a lot of locals this way, and heard some really interesting stories.
Oh, and don’t forget to change your location in your various online profiles as you land in new locations – that’s key to locals knowing you’re there!
What other methods do you use to meet people?
So much here that is helpful and fun. As I work out all of the challenges of taking my own job on the road it has been a pleasure to find you doing it well. I am on two wheels but still have tech issues, gregarious introversion and a need to trust in serendipity. Oh…and I love the bus! Travel well!
Nice piece.
Ironically, having grown up traveling and living abroad, I am always far more extroverted when overseas than at home. I find that I have less in common with most Americans (and I live in very diverse NYC for this reason) than with most people from abroad who share a common cultural identity which is not primarily shaped by popular culture, television, and now online gadgets. So for much of my life I have sought out, dated, and married outside of the American identity which is listed on my passport. And as one who has traveled in over 50 countries, I doubt this will change, as a quick conversation with most taxi drivers in New York is often far more interesting to me than any conversation in some bar dominated by assimilated Americans who seem far more passive and dominated by what the media tells them than by their own reflection and imagination. There are exceptions, but I have found few.
Great post! I have to wrestle with myself to be super sociable on the road, but I’m always so happy when I do. There are too many cool folks out there traveling the world to hang out with just myself =)
I consider myself an introvert too and can definitely appreciate how difficult it can be to meet new people. I’ve been able to meet some great people from that travel community and I am also taking a photography class, so that helps. I agree that it really is easy to be very social with a group of like-minded people. Introverted certainly does not mean anti-social!
Great tips! I hadn’t considered the challenges of being a transient before in terms of random locals not all being keen on investing the time and energy in striking up a friendship. It makes sense. I’m glad you’re harnessing technology to reach out to new friends-in-the-making. One community you might want to check out is Tripping.com. It gives travelers an easy way to connect with locals aroudn the world.
Thanks for the tip.. I’ll definitely check it out!
🙂 It’s definitely amazing the tools we have at our disposal now for connecting with each other. I’m a huge fan of connecting with like-minded people – both online and in person. And the funny thing is, I’m an introvert as well. When I was younger my parents worried because I preferred books to people to almost an extreme.
Good ideas and if you just ask where people are from more than likely they are happy to talk about their hometown. I just met this lady from Monatana and she mentioned that she had relatives in my hometown and of course I knew them. Meeting new people is always fun.
Very true.. a few basic questions generally yields some commonality to strike up a conversation.
Great post and tips! It can be tough to meet people; the hostel common room doesn’t always do the trick. In particular, we find it hard to find like-minded people and other long-term travellers.
I’ve definitely been blessed with finding many like minds with a little bit of online effort. It is much more difficult to do that in person for me.
Definitely some great tips here Cherie! The question has definitely come to my mind, that even though you might have a lot of people you chat with online, finding local socialization might be more difficult.
Another avenue are community courses offered at most colleges and universities. University of Florida and Santa Fe College, both local to us here in Gainesville, offer Leisure courses in art, photography, sculpting, writing, guitar lessons, wine tasting and bartending, just to list a few. The courses can last anywhere from 2 weeks to the length of a semester. A great way to meet like-minded folks with similar interests. Plus, the folks that attend these courses are usually locals who can give tips about interesting things to do, and the best restaurants to eat at, while you’re in the area!
As a side note, Greg and I also met through an online service, Match.com:) Thanks for the tips on getting out and meeting people when you’re a nomad…advice we will definitely keep in mind when we’re out on our adventure!
Fantastic idea of getting involved in local community classes – great way to meet people and pick up new skillsets!
Good advice, as I’m in the same boat. The online world has been a huge help, from couchsurfing to facebook/myspace. But your last point is really the key one. Forget the online groups and just chat up people along the way.
It can be tough at first, but it sure is rewarding! 🙂
We’ve also found Couchsurfing.com to be a great way to meet up with people in cities that we’re heading toward / parked in / passing through. It’s free, attracts cool people, and profiles tend to give you a lot of information about a person before inviting them out to a hike or to the RV for a picnic lunch.
Ah, yes – excellent point! Couchsurfing.org is useful not only for meeting other travelers, but locals too! We’ve been enjoying it, and looking forward to using it more once we get back stateside. Thanks!