My biggest struggle with a nomadic lifestyle when I first hit the road over 3 years ago was a deep sense of loss of community. I was leaving a community in Florida that I had invested in for over 10 years. There’s something uniquely special about a local, re-occurring community. Those people you can contact in the middle of the day with an invitation to join you for dinner or soaking in the hot tub or gaming. That immediate gratification of having people around, to be around, when you feel called to human interaction.
Being on the move constantly seemingly doesn’t leave a lot of time to form bonds – especially if you hold onto your old models of what community needs to looks like. When you’re in a town for a week or even a month, it’s difficult to first of all meet people (well, at least for us introverts it is) – let alone put the energy into forming long lasting friendships.
So my first year on the road I was missing the community I had in Florida. And my needs for community were not getting refilled as we were never in one place long enough to invest the time necessary. Every new interaction seemed to be surface level, always covering the same topics of conversation.
I used to say that lack of community would likely tempt me off the road eventually.
Something switched modes for me along the way – from feeling a lacking of community in my life, to now feeling an abundance of it.
Perhaps it’s that we’ve been on the road long enough now to have re-visited enough places that they now feel like home ports, as opposed to places we just pass through. We’ve put energy into those home ports to find like minded people – by investing time into attending events, meetups and accepting invitations to visit with folks who find us online via various means.
Perhaps it’s that we’ve gotten quite adept at going deep quicker with people we meet – getting past all the surface pleasantries, prejudgements, repeat conversations and getting to the meat of connections that used to take a much longer time. Instead of having months or years to get know a person, sometimes we have only hours.
Perhaps it’s that I’ve been able to reset my expectations that not all connections will feel present all the time. Not every connection is well suited for regular online communication, or even a specific type of communication. But that doesn’t mean they should be discounted. When in person, those connections are still there, still deep and still valuable.
Perhaps it’s that I’ve come to realize that geography limited my pool of finding my tribe. Instead of rewarding connections being few and far between when I was stationary in my little Florida beachside town, deep connections happen at an almost overwhelming rate for me now. By listening to serendipity to guide me, I’m finding more of my tribe these days than I ever have. And when someone physically moves – my response is not dread of having lost a community member in my locale – it’s one of excitement of now being able to visit that person in a cool new place!
Perhaps it’s that I have invested time and energy into connecting with other nomads who get it. My nomadic friends and community have become very very dear to me. Not only do we tend to have lots in common for having designed amazing mobile lives – but we also share skillsets in dealing with turning short rendezvouses into the super glue that bonds life long and valuable friendships.
Perhaps it’s that I’ve come to really really appreciate and concentrate on the depth of connection and quality time that happens when time together absolutely can’t be taken for granted.
So what I once thought would be the thing that took me off the road, I believe community has become a major purpose in my continuing and growing enthusiasm around being nomadic.
Great article! I’m not a nomad – but have just moved from England over to the Caymans for work purposes and have the same feeling; leaving at home a cosy network of friends and family – people I’m happy to ask “can you do this…” to practically me and my wife being alone in a new country! I’ll follow your lead and try to make more local connections.
Hello from over here in the US Virgin Islands! Definitely get out and meet some of the locals.. having some social connection goes a long way to feeling more connected. Best wishes to you both.
For me, I’ve never devoloped any ties to the people living close, and have always developed ties based on hobbies and other interests. I’m involved in a couple of international projects that do almost all their communications via the internet. I’ve been to five Debconfs (Debian’s anual convention) and only one has been in the US, and that was several thousand miles from where I live currently. SF conventions are something I enjoy, but they are held all over the country.
What I think I’ll miss the most when I start my nomadic journey is the groups with monthly meetings I’m a part of. For those I’m currently traveling something like 40 miles each way now.
What an extremely encouraging outlook on community while being nomadic. I’ve felt similar loss being almost 6 months into my voyage but you helped me realize that now I know a few more nomads and many of my previous friendships have continued to grow stronger than they were before. I think this lifestyle does take more effort in cultivating a larger number of people whom we commune with, but it just takes a little time I think.
Thanks for sharing, this is my biggest concern about the new lifestyle we’ve chosen.
Hello, our friends! Looks like you’ll be going south of us this go-around? Well, let us know when you are going to be in our neck of the woods, you know we love to see you!!
Diane and Jill
Hey guys.. likely not going to be able to swing that far north this time around. *pout* Damned islands calling us. Much love to you both!
I totally get this! Hubby used to tell me I’m a born nomad…and I used to call myself a born chameleon. I always felt I “fitted” no matter where I went. After many years of travel hubby is starting to feel that too and I love that! Today we met 4 different families at our campsite and were invited to sit by the fireplace by all of them. Community is all around you 🙂 Lovely post!
This post is so helpful to me. I’m at about six months of nomadism and this is what I am struggling with. I have *just* started reaching out to meetup groups, tentatively making connections with new people, etc.
I know it is good for me!
I also laughed when I read the part about ‘going deep quicker’. Yep. That’s exactly how I recall my first meeting with you!
Take care,
Jennifer
I know that when I meet fellow travellers I tend to go much deeper much faster so I definitely agree on that one. I also understand the sometimes distanced feeling. I travel so much that I sometimes have to get reacquainted with my friends after long absences and some of them aren’t willing to put in that time, but those that do are truly great people in my life.
Also, kind of a tangent but something interesting none the less, there’s a Nomad Festival here in Montreal! I just found out about it. It focuses on traditional African nomadic traditions, but the guy who runs it is very keen to acknowledge and incorporate more modern forms of nomadism as well.
http://www.midnightpoutine.ca/food/2010/10/la_khaima_restaurant_hosts_montreal_nomad_festival_oct_12-17th/